Who’s your daddy – Part 4

Did Johnny Cash’s father really blame him for his brother’s death?
Yes. In Johnny Cash: The Biography, Johnny’s daughter Kathy said, “Grandpa always kind of blamed Dad for Jack’s death. And Dad had this, just real sad guilt thing about him his whole life.” ~ Michael Streissguth

hurt

Watch his artistic self expression  https://youtu.be/iCdBc5uByFQ
Original by Nine Inch Nails here covered by Johnny Cash.

Johnny never publicly spoke out against his father. Instead, he said that his father was “a man of love”, who never hit him. In an Academy of Achievement interview, Johnny said, “I don’t ever remember a really cross, unkind word from my father. He was a good, strong man who provided for his family. That was his sole purpose in life when I was growing up.”

The tinge of neglect evident in the last part of the quote may be an example of a repressed bitterness that Johnny felt towards his father. This bitterness crept to the surface again in his autobiography, written after his father died, where he described some incidents of near-physical violence.
achievement.org

This is how it might read when you tell the world daddy doesn’t love you:

“My valuation of myself was much more dependent on you than on anything else, such as some external success. That was strengthening for a moment, nothing more, but on the other side your weight always dragged me down much more strongly. Never shall I pass the first grade in grammar school…. no, I did not fail, and I went on and on succeeding. This did not produce any confidence, however; on the contrary, I was always convinced—and I had positive proof of it in your forbidding expression—that the more I achieved, the worse the final outcome would inevitably be.” ~ Franz Kafka, Letter to my Father.

“The more I achieve, the worse the final outcome would inevitably be” how revealing.
If you ever need to understand self undermining sabotage, whether in art or in sports, ask your self: who’s your daddy?